Short & Funny Poems for Kids In English

Short poems for kids can be a fantastic learning tool because children's poetry can enhance their vocabulary and assist with their talking and reading skills.

Funny poems for kids are great because they get them laughing too. Below we have gathered a great selection of short and funny poems in English for kids to get them laughing and learning.

Make sure to also check out our Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids too!

Benefits of Kids Poems

Rhyming has so many benefits, and children's poetry is a great way to develop your child's language skills in any language skills.

Along with children's nursery rhymes, kids naturally like poems and poetry because of the rhymes so they can enjoy themselves while learning.

Funny Short Poems for Kids

These short and funny poems for kids are sure to get your kids interested, you may remember some from your own childhood, and there are a few modern short poems for kids here too.

Poems for Kids - Funny and Short Children's Poetry

1. Little Boy Blue Darren Sardelli

Little Boy Blue, please cover your nose.
You sneezed on Miss Muffet and ruined her clothes.
You sprayed Mother Hubbard, and now she is sick.
You put out the fire on Jack's candlestick.

Your sneeze is the reason why Humpty fell down.
You drenched Yankee Doodle when he came to town.
The blind mice are angry! The sheep are upset!
From now on, use a tissue so no one gets wet!

2. Eletephony – Laura Elizabeth Richards

Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone

Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I've got it right.)
Howe'er it was, he got his trunk

Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I'd better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

3. Row Row Row Your Boat – Unknown

Row Row Row Your Boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily
Life is but a dream.

Row Row Row Your Boat
Gently down the stream
If you see a crocodile
Don't forget to scream

4. The Little Turtle – Vachel Lindsay

There was a little turtle.
He lived in a box.
He swam in a puddle.
He climbed on the rocks.

He snapped at a mosquito.
He snapped at a flea.
He snapped at a minnow.
And he snapped at me.

He caught the mosquito.
He caught the flea.
He caught the minnow.
But he didn't catch me.

5. How not to have to dry the dishes – Shel Silverstein

If you have to dry the dishes
(Such an awful, boring chore)
If you have to dry the dishes
('Stead of going to the store)

If you have to dry the dishes
And you drop one on the floor—
Maybe they won't let you
Dry the dishes anymore.

6. Now we are six – A. A. Milne

When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.

When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.

When I was Five,
I was just alive.
But now I am Six,
I'm as clever as clever,
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.

7. Fun – Leroy F. Jackson

I love to hear a lobster laugh,
Or see a turtle wiggle,
Or poke a hippopotamus
And see the monster giggle,
Or even stand around at night
And watch the mountains wriggle.

8. Snowball – Shel Silverstein

I made myself a snowball,
As perfect as could be.
I thought I'd keep it as a pet,
And let it sleep with me.

I made it some pajamas,
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first it wet the bed.

9. Daddy Fell into the Pond – Alfred Noyes

Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
Then Daddy fell into the pond!

And everyone's face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
"Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He's crawling out of the duckweed!" Click!

Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,
And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
Oh, there wasn't a thing that didn't respond
When Daddy Fell into the pond!

You are half way though our short poems for kids! Read more short and funny poems for kids below 🙂

10. I Have a Little Frog – Unknown

I have a little frog
His name is Tiny Tim,
I put him in the bathtub,
To see if he could swim,

He drank up all the water,
And gobbled up the soap!
And when he tried to talk
He had a BUBBLE in his throat!

11. Dentist and the Crocodile – Roald Dahl

The crocodile, with cunning smile, sat in the dentist's chair.
He said, "Right here and everywhere my teeth require repair."

The dentist's face was turning white. He quivered, quaked and shook.
He muttered, "I suppose I'm going to have to take a look."

"I want you", Crocodile declared, "to do the back ones first.
The molars at the very back are easily the worst."

He opened wide his massive jaws. It was a fearsome sight—
At least three hundred pointed teeth, all sharp and shining white.

The dentist kept himself well clear. He stood two yards away.
He chose the longest probe he had to search out the decay.

"I said to do the back ones first!" the Crocodile called out.
"You're much too far away, dear sir, to see what you're about.

To do the back ones properly you've got to put your head
Deep down inside my great big mouth," the grinning Crocky said

The poor old dentist wrung his hands and, weeping in despair,
He cried, "No no! I see them all extremely well from here!"

Just then, in burst a lady, in her hands a golden chain.
She cried, "Oh Croc, you naughty boy, you're playing tricks again!"

"Watch out!" the dentist shrieked and started climbing up the wall.
"He's after me! He's after you! He's going to eat us all!"

"Don't be a twit," the lady said, and flashed a gorgeous smile.
"He's harmless. He's my little pet, my lovely crocodile."

12. When the Teacher Isn't Looking – Kenn Nesbitt

When the teacher's back is turned,
we never scream and shout.
Never do we drop our books
and try to freak her out.

No one throws a pencil
at the ceiling of the class.
No one tries to hit the fire alarm
and break the glass.

We don't cough in unison
and loudly clear our throats.
No one's shooting paper wads
or passing little notes.

She must think we're so polite.
We never make a peep.
Really, though, it's just because
we all go right to sleep.

13. My Doggy Ate My Essay – Darren Sardelli

My doggy ate my essay.
He picked up all my mail.
He cleaned my dirty closet
and dusted with his tail.

He straightened out my posters
and swept my wooden floor.
My parents almost fainted
when he fixed my bedroom door.

I did not try to stop him.
He made my windows shine.
My room looked like a palace,
and my dresser smelled like pine.

He fluffed up every pillow.
He folded all my clothes.
He even cleaned my fish tank
with a toothbrush and a hose.

I thought it was amazing
to see him use a broom.
I'm glad he ate my essay
on "How to Clean My Room."

14. Sick – Shel Silverstein

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox

And there's one more–that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut–my eyes are blue–
It might be instamatic flu.

I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke–
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,

My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.

My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.

My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.

I have a hangnail, and my heart is–what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

15. Bee – Denise Rogers

A bee comes tapping at my screen,
Buzzing, bumping, sounding mean.
Bouncing, pushing, acting wired,
With no thought of getting tired.

¨I could say, "Dear bee, what is it?
Would you like to come and visit?"
But I feel his anger's keen.
So I'm glad I have a screen!

16. Crabby – Barbara Vance

I am a crab
Who walks the shore
And pinches toes all day.

If I were you
I'd wear some shoes
And not get in my way.

17. Don't Be Silly – Dave Moran

Are there bugs that live on the moon?
Can July come before June?
Can the sun ever feel cold?
"Don't be silly" I'm often told.

Why can't we live under the sea?
The creatures there seem so happy.
Why does cheese look like gold?
"Don't be silly" I'm often told.

So why are things the way they are?
Has it always been, right from the start?
Will Mickey Mouse ever get old?
"Don't be silly" I'm often told.

So in good time I know I'll grow,
And I will learn, this I know.
I'll ask my questions and be bold,
"And that's not silly" I'll be told.

18. Stopping by woods on a snowy evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

18. A Knotty Problem – Patrick Winstanley

A scarf for a giraffe
Would be forty feet long
But how would a giraffe
Know how to put one on?

19. My Missing Shoe – Unknown

I looked for you by the front door,
Under my bed, on the bathroom floor,
Near the back stairs, in the drawer with my socks,
Next to the table, and out in the sandbox.
My mother is calling me, and I'm calling you,
Where have you gone, my missing shoe?

20. Three Little Piggies

I have three piggies,
Who live in the shed
They sleep in their food bowl
And eat in their bed

They drink lots of water
Which makes them go wee
This usually happens
While they are sitting on my knee!!!

What's your favourite short poem for kids?

Did you enjoy this list of short poems for kids in English? Do you remember some of these funny poems for kids from your childhood? Did we miss any children's poetry that you love? Let us know what your favourite kids poem is!

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  • Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
  • Word Games for Kids